Real Estate In Times Of Apocalypse: Property Hunting For Survivalists
These homes will help you survive any possible catastrophe that might befall humanity.
What constitutes a perfect home? You might be tempted to interrupt us right now with the obvious “a washer and dryer, duh”. But we’re talking about an ideal world here so forget about your very real, yet first-world struggles for a while.
So… a wine cellar? A fireplace? Maybe a ballroom and a pool on the roof?
If this is as far as your imagination goes, then, well, you might want to rethink and reassess your priorities.
Two words: zombie apocalypse. Just kidding, zombies aren’t real (ED:?). But hurricanes, floods, suicide bomber attacks, civil unrest and earthquakes are. Good luck surviving any of those in your luxury five-bathroom Trump Tower penthouse.
If, after that statement, you conclude that Agorafy finally went bananas, at least we are not the only ones. There are actually lot of people who take this whole apocalypse matter quite seriously. In fact, survival movement—these folks call themselves “preppers”—is huge, and has kinda become a thing in real estate. There’s even listing platforms that solely specialize on “retreats”—perfect properties for those who are determined to survive any possible catastrophe that might befall humanity.
In case you are wondering—no, the Agorafy platform currently does not have retreat listings. Yet.
OK, so Survival Realty here gives clear and concise description of the perfect property to buy if you want a chance at, you know, survival.
You’ll need at least five acres.
It doesn’t matter how big that luxury penthouse is and whether it has five or seven bedrooms. They (as in—general, ominous “they”) will still find you. Yes, even in the wine cellar (they will probably check that first). Hence the size. Having enough room to maneuver isn’t the only reason, of course. Here is what the “What You Should Know Before Buying A Prepper Retreat Property” article says: “The home and immediate area around the dwelling, barn, and storage buildings will take up about 1 acre of the land. In order to grow enough crops and raise enough livestock to be a sustainable homestead, a minimum of 4 acres must remain.”
It’s gotta not be adjacent to a major highway or population center.
Now, this one is purely about safety. Because “the infamous marauding hordes will be far more likely to stumble across your home if you live near a major roadway. If the real estate agent warns you that the property is a few miles past the last paved road and has a ‘hidden driveway,’ you are on the right track”.
Have an independent water source, septic system and heating system.
The last requirement is pretty self-explanatory. If all those smart humanity inventions blow up in flames, having your own well will come in handy. You’ll probably have to dig one yourself, though.
Those are just the basics, of course. Ideally, you will want to have a bomb shelter on premises (we’re not even kidding,) safe-rooms, security vaults and, of course, secure storage.
At this point, you are probably wondering—are there any properties that satisfy the prepping criteria? And, if so, where on earth can you find them?
Well, definitely not in New York (or any other big city, for that matter). But if you’re willing to sacrifice your subway and soy lattes in favor of, you know, living, Survival Realty has 264 retreats all over the US.
This prepper retreat, for example, is only 4.5 hours’ drive from NYC. It has 240 acres, which might be an overkill for a single family but is perfect for a small survivalist commune. Just because you’re not in NYC, doesn’t mean you get to avoid annoying roommates.
Not a team player? There is a prepper 10-acre farm in Georgia that’s listed for $599,000 and meets all the survival standards—except for the bomb shelter. We are not sure this property has one.
We know what you’re thinking. All these scary things will never really happen anyway. OK, maybe not the zombie apocalypse. But have you seen the polls? Do you think political unrest will be any better than a zombie invasion? If you’re concerned, even a teeny tiny bit, here are the last words of wisdom from Agorafy before the world descends into darkness:
If you are not planning to buy real estate in the foreseeable future, try at least to befriend a prepper who is. You could be couch surfing in their new retreat when the you-know-what hits the fan.
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